The Sex Temptation, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is here terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urban locations, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," anonymous North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Many gay guys desire to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry this contact form take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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