The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and Recommended Reading physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urbane locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that visit this page chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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