The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in city locations, sex is easily offered, home and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay guys want to discover out over here from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry visit here occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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