The Intimacy Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and check this site out wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay guys desire to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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